Have you ever opened up about something important to you, only to hear “You’re too sensitive,” “That’s not a big deal,” or “You’re overreacting”? If so, you’ve experienced invalidation—when someone dismisses, minimizes, or rejects your feelings instead of acknowledging them. Being invalidated can make you question yourself, suppress your emotions, or even doubt your own reality. While not all invalidation is intentional or harmful, it can take a serious emotional toll—especially when it happens often or in close relationships.
Invalidation can be subtle or overt, and it often comes in different forms. Here are some common ways people dismiss or downplay emotions:
While invalidation can be frustrating and painful, gaslighting takes it a step further by actively making you doubt your own reality. If someone regularly denies your experiences, rewrites history, or makes you feel “crazy” for remembering things a certain way, that’s a form of manipulation, not just dismissal.
Human beings are wired for connection. When someone dismisses your emotions, it can make you feel unseen or unheard, as if your experiences don’t matter. It can also make you doubt yourself and wonder if you’re overreacting or if your feelings are wrong. When you learn that it’s not safe to express your feelings in a relationship, you can end up feeling emotionally stifled. This leads to bottled-up emotions, which can cause mental health struggles. It can also make you less trusting, meaning you’ll be less likely to open up to others in the future. Over time, chronic invalidation can lead to low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and difficulty expressing emotions in relationships.
Not all invalidation is intentional or malicious. Sometimes, people dismiss others’ emotions because:
However, in some cases, chronic invalidation is a control tactic. If someone constantly dismisses, belittles, or rewrites your experiences, it may be part of a pattern of emotional manipulation.
When someone dismisses your feelings, you don’t have to accept it. Here’s how to handle different types of invalidation:
If the person isn’t intentionally trying to dismiss you, you can calmly express your feelings:
This can be effective with friends, family, or partners who mean well but may not realize how they’re coming across.
If someone regularly makes you question your feelings, remind yourself that your emotions are valid—even if others don’t acknowledge them. Instead of thinking “Maybe I’m overreacting”, try “My feelings matter, even if others don’t understand them.”
Not everyone is capable of offering emotional support, and that’s okay. If someone consistently invalidates you, it may be best to turn to those who are more understanding. Seek out trusted friends, supportive family members, or a therapist who can provide validation and guidance.
If someone repeatedly dismisses your feelings despite your efforts to communicate, it may be time to set firm boundaries to protect your emotional well-being. Consider communicating something like:
If invalidation is part of a larger pattern of manipulation, gaslighting, or emotional abuse, consider distancing yourself from that relationship. Constantly defending your feelings to someone who refuses to listen is exhausting and harmful.
Even if others dismiss your emotions, you can learn to validate yourself. Here’s how:
Your emotions are signals—not proof that you’re being “too sensitive” or “dramatic.” Instead of thinking “Maybe I shouldn’t feel this way,” try “My emotions are telling me something important.”
Writing down your thoughts and feelings without judgment can help you process them and build self-awareness. If you’re questioning whether your emotions are valid, journaling can provide clarity and reassurance.
Talk to yourself the way you would comfort a friend. Instead of criticizing yourself for having emotions, acknowledge them with kindness and self-compassion. Try telling yourself: “It’s okay that I feel hurt by that comment. My feelings are valid.”
If chronic invalidation has made it hard for you to trust your emotions, therapy can help you rebuild self-confidence, develop emotional regulation, and stop second-guessing yourself. It can also give you the tools to set healthy boundaries with invalidating people.
If you’ve been dismissed, invalidated, or made to question your emotions, you don’t have to navigate it alone. The therapists at Medens Health provide a safe and validating space where your feelings will be heard, understood, and respected. Whether you need help processing past invalidation, setting boundaries, or learning to trust yourself again, we’re here to support you, both online and in person. You deserve to have your emotions acknowledged. Contact Medens Health today to take the first step toward healing.
Get started here, call or text (833) 624-5400, or fill out our contact form today!
Disclaimer:
The information provided in this blog is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Reliance on any information this blog provides is solely at your own risk. Always seek the advice of your physician or a qualified mental health provider with any questions regarding your medical or mental health. If you don’t currently have a therapist, we can connect you with one who is qualified to give you safe, professional, and ethical advice regarding your mental health.
If you or someone you are responsible for is experiencing a medical emergency, is considering harming themselves or others, or is otherwise in imminent danger, you should call 9-1-1 and/or take them to the nearest emergency room.
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