If you have ADHD, do you ever feel like you’re constantly putting on a performance just to fit in? Maybe you overthink every interaction, apologize excessively, or go out of your way to appear “put together” even when you’re struggling inside. If so, you might be engaging in ADHD masking—a common but exhausting coping mechanism. For many people with ADHD, masking develops as a way to hide traits that may seem “different” or “disruptive” to others. While it often starts as a way to protect yourself from criticism, masking can leave you feeling drained, disconnected from your true self, and misunderstood.
ADHD masking is the process of hiding or suppressing symptoms to appear more “neurotypical.” It’s a survival strategy used to avoid judgment, criticism, or feeling out of place. People with ADHD often develop masking behaviors in childhood to blend in, especially if they were frequently told to “sit still,” “pay attention,” or “stop being so forgetful.” Over time, masking can become so automatic that it’s hard to recognize—even by the person doing it.
Masking can take many forms, including:
While masking may help you feel accepted temporarily, it often comes with hidden costs.
Constantly monitoring your behavior and suppressing your natural tendencies is exhausting. Masking can lead to chronic stress and burnout, leaving you feeling emotionally drained and overwhelmed.
Masking often reinforces the belief that your true self isn’t acceptable. Over time, this can lead to shame, self-doubt, and low self-esteem, making it even harder to feel comfortable being yourself.
When you’re disconnected from your authentic self, it’s easy to feel isolated or misunderstood. Masking can contribute to anxiety, depression, and feelings of inadequacy, especially if you feel like no one sees the “real you.”
Masking can make ADHD symptoms less visible, leading to misdiagnosis or delayed diagnosis—especially for women and girls. Many people with ADHD are dismissed as “just anxious” or “too sensitive” because their struggles are hidden behind coping mechanisms.
Unmasking your ADHD doesn’t mean letting go of growth or abandoning strategies that help you function—it means embracing who you are and working with your brain, not against it. The process starts with self-awareness and self-compassion, allowing you to shed the pressure to appear “perfect” and focus instead on authenticity.
The first step is noticing when and how you’re masking. Reflect on moments where you’ve hidden your true thoughts, feelings, or behaviors to fit in. Journaling or working with a therapist can help you identify these patterns.
Instead of seeing your ADHD traits as weaknesses, focus on their positive aspects. Many people with ADHD are creative, empathetic, and innovative thinkers. Embrace these strengths and remind yourself that being different doesn’t mean being “less than.”
Start speaking up about your needs. Whether it’s asking for written instructions at work or explaining your challenges to friends, advocating for yourself helps reduce the need for masking.
Examples of phrases to use:
Seek out people who accept and celebrate you as you are. This might include friends, family, ADHD support groups, or online communities where you can share experiences without fear of judgment.
Therapists and ADHD coaches can provide valuable support by helping you identify patterns of masking and internalized shame. They work with you to develop coping strategies that align with your ADHD, allowing you to embrace your natural tendencies rather than fighting against them. Through this process, you can build confidence in your ability to manage challenges while staying true to yourself.
Unmasking isn’t easy, but the benefits are well worth the effort. It can lead to better mental health by reducing stress, anxiety, and burnout. Stronger relationships often follow, as deeper connections form with people who accept you as you are. Increased confidence comes with self-acceptance, fostering greater self-esteem and resilience. Unmasking also creates space for personal growth, freeing up energy to pursue creativity, passions, and meaningful goals.
Living an unmasked ADHD life is about embracing who you are—not who others expect you to be. At Medens Health, we provide a safe and supportive environment where you can explore your ADHD, build healthier coping strategies, and develop the confidence to live authentically. Whether you’re new to your diagnosis or have been managing ADHD for years, we’re here to help.
Get started here, call or text (833) 624-5400, or fill out our contact form today.
Disclaimer:
The information provided in this blog is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Reliance on any information this blog provides is solely at your own risk. Always seek the advice of your physician or a qualified mental health provider with any questions regarding your medical or mental health. If you don’t currently have a therapist, we can connect you with one who is qualified to give you safe, professional, and ethical advice regarding your mental health.
If you or someone you are responsible for is experiencing a medical emergency, is considering harming themselves or others, or is otherwise in imminent danger, you should call 9-1-1 and/or take them to the nearest emergency room.
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