Gaslighting has become a widely discussed topic in conversations around relationships and mental health, but what exactly does it mean? Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation where one person tries to make another question their reality, leading to confusion, self-doubt, and emotional distress. Whether it happens in a romantic relationship, in a friendship, at work, or even within families, gaslighting can cause significant harm to a person’s mental well-being. Let’s dive into what gaslighting is, how to recognize its signs, and—most importantly—how to protect yourself from it.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which one person makes another doubt their thoughts, memories, or perceptions. It often involves denying events, twisting conversations, and blaming the victim, leaving them unsure of their own sense of reality. Gaslighting can happen in various types of relationships—romantic, platonic, familial, or professional—and its effects can be deeply damaging.
The term "gaslighting" came from the 1938 play Gas Light (later adapted into a 1944 film) in which a husband subtly manipulates his wife into thinking she’s losing her mind by dimming the gas lights in their home and then denying that anything has changed. As a result, the wife slowly begins to doubt her senses and question her sanity. Today, gaslighting is recognized as a tactic used to control or manipulate others, often to maintain power in a relationship.
Gaslighting can be very subtle, but if you watch for common signs, you may start to notice a pattern of things such as:
When experienced over time, gaslighting can have profound psychological effects. Victims of gaslighting often lose trust in their own thoughts and perceptions, doubting their memory and experiences. Constantly questioning reality can also lead to emotional fatigue, leaving victims feeling drained and confused. Eventually, even making simple decisions can feel overwhelming, as victims may doubt their ability to make choices without second-guessing themselves. After being trained to believe that their needs are invalid and selfish, victims of gaslighting may be unable to assert their needs, or even feel guilty for having them at all. Prolonged gaslighting can contribute to more serious mental health conditions, including anxiety, depression, and even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Signs that gaslighting is impacting your mental health:
If you suspect you’re being gaslit, here are some steps you can take to protect yourself:
Awareness is the first step. Once you identify the signs of gaslighting, it becomes easier to stop doubting yourself. Trust your instincts—if something feels wrong, it likely is.
Keep a record of conversations, emails, texts, or anything that can serve as evidence. Keep a journal of any events or conversations that you suspect they might twist or deny later. When they do, having that documentation can help you maintain clarity about what really happened.
Establish clear emotional boundaries and stick to them. Gaslighters thrive on pushing limits, so being firm about what behavior you will and will not tolerate is essential.
Reach out to friends, family members, or a therapist to talk through your experiences. These people can validate your reality and provide perspective. Gaslighters often isolate their victims, so it’s important to maintain connections with your support network.
When possible, calmly assert your version of events and stand by your feelings. It’s important not to get drawn into arguments about your memory or emotions, as this is often what the gaslighter wants. Stick to the facts as you remember them.
Gaslighting can take a toll on your mental health, so make time for self-care. Whether it’s meditation, exercise, or spending time with loved ones, self-care can help you stay grounded and build resilience against emotional manipulation.
If gaslighting is seriously affecting your mental health, consider working with a therapist who can help you navigate the situation. A licensed therapist can provide tools for coping and help you regain confidence in your perceptions and decisions.
In many cases, gaslighting is part of a broader pattern of emotional or psychological abuse. If you find yourself in a relationship where gaslighting is frequent and harmful, consider whether the relationship is safe and healthy for you. Leaving an abusive relationship can be difficult, but it may be the best option for your long-term mental health and well-being. If you need to exit a toxic relationship, consider seeking support from a therapist, a trusted friend or family member, or a domestic violence hotline to help you plan your next steps safely.
Gaslighting is a serious form of emotional manipulation that can have long lasting effects on your mental health. If you’re experiencing gaslighting, the first step to breaking free is ending your isolation by getting support. At Medens Health, our licensed mental health professionals provide the support you need to navigate difficult relationships, heal from emotional abuse, and move forward. Reach out to us today to take the first step toward reclaiming your mental health and well-being.
Get started here, call or text (833) 624-5400, or fill out our contact form today!
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