Breaking Generational Trauma

If you think of trauma simply as impacting one person, you may be surprised to learn that it can echo down the generations of a family tree. It manifests in patterns of behavior, beliefs, and even in unspoken words reaching back through family histories. It’s a painful inheritance, but one that can be broken with awareness and intention.
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What is Generational Trauma?

Generational trauma, often passed down unconsciously, is the emotional baggage carried by individuals from one generation to the next. This inherited trauma can range from abuse and neglect to societal injustices and displacement. Take a look at a couple of common examples of generational trauma:

• The men in a family are taught that being “a man” means never expressing (or even having) softer emotions, and that a “real man” controls his family and demands obedience. They deal with emotional turmoil by lashing out, blaming others, drinking, and physically abusing their wives and children. Those children, having only that model for what a father and husband should be, go on to marry or become abusive men as well. Then their children do the same, and the cycle continues.
• The women in a family are taught that their value lies in being beautiful and useful. They believe that they can only be loved if they adhere to a certain appearance and put others’ needs before theirs. They don’t learn to set boundaries and will do anything to “keep the peace.” They enforce these same standards with their daughters, who then teach them to their daughters, and so on.

Although toxic gender roles are a common theme, generational trauma is not limited to ideas around gender. Members of marginalized races or ethnic groups often inherent generational trauma due to the adverse effects of racism, slavery, genocide, war, and other injustices.
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Cultural Considerations

It’s important to be aware that generational trauma can include cultural factors. Different cultures express and cope with trauma in distinct ways. Some cultures discourage the open expression of emotions, while others may have a more communal or expressive approach. Certain communities may also have experienced historical or systemic traumas that reverberate through generations. Communities that have faced colonization, displacement, slavery, genocide, or systemic oppression may carry a heavier burden of trauma. Acknowledging these collective wounds is essential for addressing generational trauma effectively.

In the melting pot that is America, children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren of immigrants and marginalized populations may be part of mainstream culture while still carrying the generational trauma of their predecessors. Being aware of these influences can help you understand the nuances while addressing deeply-rooted influences.
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Breaking the Cycle

Once we realize that we carry generational trauma, most of us want to break the cycle so that our children don’t have to suffer what we went through. This requires intentional effort, so here are some steps you can take to get started:

• Recognize the trauma: The first step is acknowledging the existence of the trauma that you carry. Only then can you work through it. You may find that some people in your family simply can’t do this, and you’ll have to heal from it without their support.
• Make a commitment: Set a goal for yourself to end the generational trauma.
• Seek professional help: Untangling your childhood and understanding the effect that generational trauma has had on you is key to the process, but it’s no small feat. A trained therapist can help you process your trauma and learn new patterns.
• Set boundaries: If your parents, grandparents, and older relatives are still in your life, they may still be engaging in trauma-related behaviors that are harmful to you. Therapy can help you learn to set boundaries so that you no longer allow yourself to be a victim of their behavior.
• Encourage open conversations: If possible and if it does not cause further trauma, try to have conversations with other family members around the history of trauma in your family. Be honest (in an age-appropriate way) with your children about the issues you are working through.
• Work on your parenting: When stressed, we tend to parent how we were raised. It takes an intentional effort to change the patterns that were ingrained in you. Think about what impacted you negatively as a child and what you would like to do differently. You may not have had a model for a healthy parent-child relationship. Seek support from therapy, books, and other resources to learn how to be the parent you want to be.
• Implement self care: Healing from generational trauma and changing the way you think and act is a long journey that often involves a lot of guilt. Be patient with yourself, exercise ample self-compassion, and implement self-care measures to give yourself the rest and space needed to heal.
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Getting Professional Help

The path to breaking generational trauma is often challenging, and seeking professional help is a courageous step toward healing. Therapy and counseling can play a pivotal role in providing tools and insights as you navigate the layers of inherited pain. You’ll learn to set boundaries, change harmful thought patterns, and form healthier relationships. A good therapist will act as a guide in your journey, providing support, understanding, and strategies for dismantling the chains of the past.
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Therapy for Generational Trauma

Breaking generational trauma is a gift to future generations, but it also vastly improves your own mental health and well-being. The journey may be challenging, but the destination is one of liberation, resilience, and healing. At Medens Health, our diverse staff of compassionate mental health professionals can help you work through generational trauma and build a new future. Reach out to us by phone or text at (833) 624-5400, send us a message using our online contact form, or get started here.



^Disclaimer:

^{‍The information provided in this blog is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Reliance on any information provided in this blog is solely at your own risk. Always seek the advice of your physician or a qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical or mental health. If you don’t currently have a therapist, we can connect you with one who is qualified to give you safe, professional, and ethical advice regarding your mental health.}

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